UnFOURgettable Open Letter to My Sweet Miracle, Nia

Nia today marks 4 years around the sun and yet your birth still feels like only yesteday! The trauma and blessing all in the same 24 hours is still raw as I write today! The grief hit me like a crashing wave at this hour. I am no longer angry, but sometimes the heartache still feel like I just received the grime prognosis of your life expectancy – zero to a few hours at best or even worse – stop your heart before you arrive in this world so you won’t suffer. When I think about all the expert medical opinions I received four years ago, and then to look at you today – part of my soul aches for the thought of me missing all the things you have become today!

I am grateful “Nia’s Journey” set me on a path to be a crusader not only for you/us – but to fight for the health and lives of other moms and babies!

Your life pushed me to be even more of a risk taker! I’ve never been average, but God truly raised the stakes when He gave me you! He knew you would set fire under me to Bet on Myself – because your life would require me to do so! God continues to order my steps and align them with greater purpose ever single day! The best part, it’s always connected back to “Nia’s Journey.”

You are the epitome of Independent! You are ambitous and a girl on a mission, which we [your dad and I] have clearly seen in your love for the beach!

I have watched you grow more in love with not just sand at the beach but the ocean. I remember when you were sooo afraid of the ocean and now nothing can stop you! The beach is our family’s happy place!! This just gives me pure joy! You truly are our little mermaid! We are incredibly grateful to Make-A-Wish for making your Ultimate Tea Party by the Sea come true this year! These memories will last a lifetime.

Nia’s Wish Day! 🥰
Ultimate Tea Party by the Sea!

You totally deserved it especially enduring reconstructive bi-lateral hand surgery that required casts for a whole month! Just like you bounced back in unprecedented time from open heart surgery, you did the same for this surgery – which was not nearly as complex but equally nerve wrecking and requires a bit more day to day assistance.

Few hours after surgery!

You are truly a warrior and whenever doubt creeps in, remember “I Can Do Hard Things!”

This past year has been quite the experience. The pandemic caused us to make more tough decisions – would we send you to school or not? What type of setting – home, public, or private? Ultimately we decided on an independent institution that didn’t make public health and safety political. Your health along with all students is considered of the utmost importance.

Also, because your school’s values – you are loved, accepted, and appreciated for the diversity you bring to the school. I am able to educate your classmates, families, faculty and staff about your differences yet your similarities. That love takes a bit of my worry away!

First Day of Junior Kindergarten (JK)

Some days though I must say I hold my breath waiting for you to come home and say someone has been unkind – yet that hasn’t happened. I know it hasn’t been a full month, but I know you are in a safe and healthy environment conducive to a positive learning experience.

I am excited for your next year around the sun – you will continue to do amazing things!!

Thank you for giving me so much inspiration because of you I am a strategist, advocate, advisory council member, blogger, a best selling author, and most importantly a warrior mom and an absolute believer of Christ! Without Him, there is no you physically on this earth!

Love you! #Dollbaby and my #Bossbaby

Happy 4th Birthday to my Mermaid and Unicorn! 💖💖🧜🏾‍♀️🧜🏾‍♀️🦄

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Mental Health Reflection: Surviving Nia’s Latest Surgery and COVID-19

Today marks one year post open heart surgery for Nia! As I write this blog post I am literally in tears! My God! My baby girl’s fate was death, but through supernatural healing she is here!!!

I believe this is a perfect opportunity to revisit my postpartum mental health journey. As most who follow Nia’s Journey are aware that my pregnancy and postpartum mental health journey have been quite the rollercoaster ride – but I am transparent about my own journey as Ive received so much feedback that it i has help others- mothers and non-mothers / men and women alike.

This COVID-19 crisis has definitely attempted to play on my psych and cause my postpartum anxiety and PTSD to to peak its ugly head, but it can’t and will not win!

Before the COVID-19 crisis was fully a thing, it was already on my mind, one because of Nia being a congenital heart and lung defect baby- anything respiratory related always puts us on heightened alert.

I should back up to the day before Nia’s latest surgery…Nia had her cardiologist appointment in Lancaster, PA with her godsent physician. This visit was routine until it wasn’t.. She had an echocardiogram, which was required for approval of her tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy (tonsils and adenois removal) the next day…

The Emotional Rollercoaster – Cardiology Visit

…Her cardiologist was concerned regarding the pressures on the right side of her heart being too high!! Let me just say, my heart sank and so did Antoine’s… I could see the worry in his eyes which is rare- he looked at his baby girl, and I could see his eyes saying not my baby girl again… My PTSD had me almost wanting to scream in the echocardiogram because Nia had to have two screenings to be sure….

The rest of the visit is was full of additional education and theories of what may be happening… again we are so thankful for the details we receive by Nia’s care team as they know we expect nothing less… the two hour drive is worth it!

Despite the news seeing Nia being so happy and wanting to check her doctor’s heartbeat was a little bit of sunshine and she is truly our light! She is full of joy no matter the circumstances – Sweet Nia is always so sure of herself and the love she has for others…

Nia would now need to go under again at a different time to the cath lab to be sure the echo was accurate…sooner rather than later…For now she was approved to have her tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy with the coordinated care of a cardiac anesthesiologist…

That afternoon Nia was seen by her skeletal dysplasia orthopedic team – truly blessed to have them as well! Dr. Stewart Mackenzie’s (Dr. William Mackenzie’s son) this go around…..

That evening we paid it forward to the NICU families and staff with a hot meal – doing this always brings positive to energy to my mental health…. feels good to do good for others!

Paying It Forward Part II- New Year and Purpose

A 35 day plus government shutdown- working WITHOUT PAY, couldn’t stop our hearts from giving! Thanks to tremendous donations from our family and friends during the holidays and coordination with March of Dimes we were able to bless our 1st NICU Home on Saturday, INOVA Fairfax. We provided NICU families with a hot catered meal from Nando’s Peri Peri- our favorite local place while in the NICU.

A little bit of compassion and empathy can go a long way on this journey! We will never forget, which is why we are compelled to pay it forward! We pray this will be an annual event for us.

We were blessed by other moms, dads, and grandparents sharing their current NICU journeys with some intimate details of the hardship they are enduring… Their tears, hugs, laughter, and even a few smiles humbled us in so many ways- we could truly relate. Some parents had babies only a couple days old, but thankful to have a meal that they didn’t have to pay for or go far to get. All NICU parents want is to be with their babies!

Nia’s journey provided some comfort to the parents… You could see some of the fear, worry, and anxiety in their eyes thinking of their own babies, but our story gave them a little bit of hope and reassurance. When the situation looks dire, God can turn it around in an instant. To know our baby should have been DOA, but she is thriving 16 months later is truly miraculous. We pray that the parents we encountered on Saturday will be able to take their babies home in the next weeks or months.

We are on a mission to transform healthcare for babies, mothers, and fathers enduring long hospital stays or complex medical care through advocacy, knowledge, storytelling, and provider and patient engagement! Paying it forward is just a piece of this.

Peace and Blessings!

Erica

Erica, Antoine, and Nia

Link to Paying it Forward- Part I

https://niasjourney.com/2018/12/25/paying-it-forward-tis-the-season/

One Year NICU Graduation Anniversary Reflection- Nia’s Homecoming Day 01.24.2018

It’s been exactly one year (okay and one day) since Nia graduated from the NICU, Wow! Time surely does fly!

We are so grateful for this milestone. It’s fun seeing life in hindsight… I am still in awe of our miracle, and God’s miraculous works. According to science, Nia really shouldn’t be here and she almost wasn’t going to be… but God!!! Thinking of Nia’s Journey til this day still brings me chills- wow! The even more amazing part is that she is imperfectly perrfect. Through her rare dwarfism we’ve been humbled. Although this journey is not the parenthood assignment we initially wanted, it’s the assignment we needed- God chose us!!!

She is beauty, she is love, she is sweet, she is intelligent- seriously, she is funny (actually really hilarious). Beyond all those things our baby girl is here a year later, post 118- day NICU journey and thriving beyond any clinicians dreams (prognosis).

Nia has touched so many lives including ours. She has transformed us in ways we never imagined. Personally, I am on a journey to spread love, advice, knowledge, and awareness on navigating the healthcare system and complex medical needs. Who knew our journey would put us in a position to bless other families in this last year! Wow!

Nia’s journey has blown our minds. While we’ve had some unexpected setbacks we’ve had some unexpected blessings as well!We couldn’t be more grateful for our sweet angel!

Cheers to 1 Year Post-NICU Life!!! Nia will forever be a true #NICUWarrior

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose. ~Romans 8:28

Blessings!

ELS

Erica, Antoine, and Nia


1 Year ago January 24, 2018

Picture on the left first day home and pic on right one year (and a day) home!

January 24, 2019 💚💚💚💚

Paying It Forward- ‘Tis the Season

In the midst of Nia’s all day routine medical appointments on Thursday, 20 December 2018, we managed to pull off paying it forward to current NICU (North and South) families at Nemours A.I. duPont Children’s Hospital.

Nia in good spirits at her last appointment before the Elf Squad made our special delivery ❤️❤️❤️

Thanks to tremendous monetary contributions from close family and friends we were able to spread a little love and prayerfully hope and words of encouragement to mothers and fathers by providing a hot catered meal from our favorite local place during our NICU stay, El Diablo and a little token of love that included a journal, Tag for Tots, and a gift card to Einstein Bagels which is located inside the hospital and not actually hospital food 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾.

We know this NICU journey is hard and lonely, and hospital food is even more depressing. Food is comfort and we wanted to make sure all the new moms and dads could enjoy a different food flair while now having a way to memorialize their thoughts, feeling or any pertinent information for the day (using their journal).

Our love for duPont is indescribable. Walking through the doors of the hospital we are always met with love, care, and compassion like I’ve never seen before. There is a vested interest and a sense of empowerment giving to us as parents to be in control of our child’s care.

Although we had appointments before dawn, all were timely and all doctors were cognizant we had a long day. We were so blessed to end our day of medical appointments by showering our former temporary home with a little love from us.

To all NICU parents currently enduring this journey- know there is hope… Our baby Nia was counted out even before she ever graced this earth on September 27, 2017 but a year plus later we are home and she is truly defying the odds! We pray that your NICU Warrior will do the same and graduate too!

Even if your journey doesn’t turn out the way you expected, know that you are awesome and amazing for fighting and advocating to no end for your biggest blessing yet- your NICU Warrior. Your unique journey is encouraging others. Your strength is not lost and you are not forgotten!

Peace and Blessings!

Merry Christmas!

~The Elf Squad aka The Shoemates~ Antoine, Nia, and Erica 🤗

In front of duPont Children’s Christmas Tree

NICU North ❤️❤️

NICU South (Original)- Nia’s former NICU home 😍❤️❤️

Happies for NICU Families

Up Close of Happy 🎁☺️

Week of Thankfulness- Thankful to Celebrate Thanksgiving Full Circle With Nia at Home! 🙌🏾🍁🍁🍁❤️❤️❤️

I am thankful for the breath of Life and Thanksgiving Outside of the NICU 🙌🏾🙌🏾😍💗💗💗💗🍁

Thanksgiving last year we split our time between attempting to celebrate our blessings at home and then making our way to be with Nia in the NICU.

We are so incredibly thankful for a sweet friend that brought a whole Thanksgiving Dinner to us during our NICU journey last year! Alexis and Jeff W- we love you all!

As I write this post, I am incredibly emotional as this is another milestone for us! We are home this year for Thanksgiving and all together. We woke up this morning with sleeping arrangements a little different from most parents with a toddler. Since our home health Nurse called out last night, Antoine and I had to camp out on Nia’s bedroom floor so she could sleep in her own bed. Our journey doesn’t allow the freedom for Nia to sleep alone without being monitored! Yes we have a camera/monitor in her room! Antoine is an Engineer and gadget guru 🤣🤣🤗❤️ BUT we have to make sure Nia doesn’t flip over and put her entire face in her mattress. So before we went to sleep we had to place her pulse oximeter on. Nia fell asleep before her Triology/CPAP could be put on- so we just winged it and let her be- back to us being dubbed as the #WingitParents because of this journey. We don’t always follow the rules or doctors’ orders every night- and just thankful today we don’t have to since Nia is a little stronger! So no machine last night but we made a pallet on the floor instead to hear her breathe and not solely rely on a machine to tell us if her oxygen saturation or heart rate dropped too low!

Our Thanksgiving Morning 2018! Pallet and Pulse Oximeter- the simple things!

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Thanksgiving 2018- we are thankful for our eternal God allowing us the gift of life- birthing and parenthood experience beyond the walls of the NICU. We will never take it for granted! We are thankful for Nia’s medical equipment and devices- Infinity Feed Pump, syringes, g-tube (Mini one profile), g-tube extensions, bolus and gravity feed. Gravity feeds are lifesaver on time when we are exhausted- thank you Antoine for being risky and trusting that Nia can handle it. We are thankful for Lasix, which helps prevent fluid build up around Nia’s heart and lungs with her congenital heart defect. We are thankful to be able to continue to produce breastmilk as an exclusive pumper- 13.5 months postpartum! 💗💗💗

We are thankful for Nia’s triology/CPAP which expedited her discharge from the NICU at duPont Children’s. We are thankful for Nia’s expert medical team including the local DMV team- her pediatrician is a jewel and rockstar; duPont Children’s (NICU and Cardiac Center) and expert cardiologist in Lancaster, PA! We love you all! We are even thankful for INOVA’s NICU team for taking care of Nia for the first two months of life (despite some mishaps and frustrations along the way)! Much love to Dr. B and some of our NICU nurses- now forever friends!

We are thankful for our new family and friends we’ve made in the NICU at INOVA Fairfax and duPont Children’s Hopsital! What an awesome and amazing blessing seeing our babies a year later and watching other amazing Warrior parents in action advocating for their precious gifts too!

My emotions are raw and real and can’t help but think of the families that have lost loved ones and precious babies that may have never experienced life outside of the hospital! We love you all and truly thinking of you today! Our hearts ache for you- because we understand all too well the fragility of life! One minute things can be fine and the next minute things go south- we’ve been there- Nia coded twice right after Thanksgiving last year! Please know that your are loved and not alone! We see you and you can reach out anytime- morning, night, overnight!

All I can say is God what a difference a year makes! We couldn’t have made it without your divine intervention- God’s grace and mercy brought us through and continues to do so- even through frustration, pain and chaos! Death was for certain for our sweet Nia- #ButGod #MadeAWay

It’s not about all the food we can eat today but about the unwavering love God has shown us and the insurmountable strength He has given us along this journey! We are thankful for every single moment we get to be Nia’s parents here on this Earth!

Happy Thanksgiving! Be Thankful for the small things! #NiasJourney #ButGod

I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds. ~Psalm 9:1

Pics from Thanksgiving 2017

Thanksgiving Morning 2018- Beautiful Nia asleep in her own bed #FearfullyandWonderfullyMade

This post is dedicated to all NICU, Cardiac ICU, and parents that have lost their sweet babies too soon! Today is not easy as you see posts of new gifts of life at home or out and about, and you are sitting in the hospital by your baby’s side instead OR having to relive the would’ve, could’ve of the life you yearned for your heavenly angel babies to be! Love you all! Sending hugs and love your way! 😘😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️

Blessings,

Erica, Antoine, and Nia

Week of Thankfulness…Thankful for the Ability to Eat By Mouth

Nia has been tube fed since birth, because initially she experienced tachypnea (fast breathing), which can be typical of Ellis-van Creveld Syndrome (EVC) due to the narrowing of the rib cage. It’s been a difficult road as I continue to exclusively pump liquid gold for her! We truly believed Nia would take a bottle within the first 3 months of life- but that never came…God had other plans! At times I felt like what’s the point of pumping milk if I won’t get the nursing /bonding experience that I had yearned for… #BUTGOD…I am so thankful he instilled in me Type A characteristics because as I said before- pumping is the one thing on this journey I can control- I continue to compete with myself. As a result, Nia continues to bounce back from any sickness she encounters.

Of course any type of sickness for her can be deadly because of her congenital heart defect and narrow rib cage- #BUTGOD… She is truly a trooper!

My breast-milk is fortified to increase Nia’s caloric intake, with approximately 10ml of Enfamil Nutramigen concentrate formula for every 100 ml- to 22 calories an ounce. Breast-milk is only approximately 20 calories an ounce. At times we feel like dietitians, physicians, pharmacists, and any other medical specialists you want to throw in 😂😂🤣🤷🏽‍♀️

Back to the point about being thankful to eat food by mouth…

As a NICU baby, Nia had a Naso-gastric (NG) tube through her mouth and then nose and then back to her mouth (see pics below) and had to be changed weekly with a required x-ray to ensure tube was inserted properly in her stomach. This pomp and circumstance lasted for the first two months of her life.

NG tube in Nia’s mouth

NG Tube in nose- thank you to her amazing Neonatologist, Dr. B at INOVA Fairfax! No one else had been successful with inserting this tube in Nia’s nose

Chubby Nia- NG Tube back to Mouth after Nia’s coding episodes 😢

After Nia’s transfer to duPont Children’s she had surgery for her G-tube/Nissen fundoplication.  A Nissen  procedure is when a small amount of the stomach is wrapped around the bottom of the esophagus. Again I went through some pumping resentment because of the surgery, but kept producing milk for Nia in spite of these feelings. This G-Tube surgery had many pros, but seemed like more cons in the aftermath. Nia no longer needed to have a tube changed weekly, and her meds could be administered via the tube, and we didn’t have to worry about when she gets sick how to give her calories and hydration… BUT there were new issues- Retching (which we were warned about). Since Nia has a Nissen it’s almost impossible for her to vomit if needed to prevent aspiration into her lungs- which could be deadly for her. However, to watch Nia have these episodes were terrifying and heart wrenching. Just imagine gagging over and over and nothing can come up- that’s retching…for mostly every feed! We learned some tricks for relief called “venting” the tube and the Farrell bag, but neither were always that helpful.

Nia a few hours post G-Tube and Nissen surgery

Needless to say after about 6 months of this- Antoine’s engineering/mathematician light switch came on…. 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾. Game changer… Nia would get her full feed but broken into halves for about a 10 minute break in for “venting” to let gas/air out via the g-tube. It wasn’t her body couldn’t handle the full feed but she is always super gassy.

Venting the tube” – See air/gas bubbles in milk

Nia’s at-home feeding pump- Infinity Orange designed specifically for infusion of breastmilk

We have continued to worked with Nia alongside feeding, physical, and occupational therapists almost daily with taking a little food by mouth since she is no longer tachypnea. She initially gagged a lot because her gag reflex hadn’t been pushed further to the back of her mouth due to the lack of traditional bottle feeding. However, we gave Nia toys and she started exploring with her mouth. We continued to work on various textures and then the introduction of a spoon.

At around 9 months, Nia saw me drink water from a water bottle and wanted to try! Guess what!!! She was able to swallow water immediately without me ever practicing with her! Then on our first mommy/daughter brunch date with a sweet NICU family, Nia watched me drink out of a straw and decided she could do that too- with no previous practice!!!! Nia is a baby genius- seriously she is sharp! I think it’s the breastmilk, right????!!!! 😍😍😍🤷🏽‍♀️🤔😊

She does everything on her terms- doesn’t want our help! 😬😬😬

Our hard work and her retching-gagging episodes have paid off as our sweet baby is now very interested in what’s on our plates to try by mouth!!!

The Kicker- Praise Break- Moment of Triumph

About three weeks ago Nia ate 75 percent of her Earth’s Best Chicken Pot Pie Pouch- that’s her favorite! This mama had a moment…

I know this doesn’t seem like much to most but it’s everything for us! Every single milestone and breath from Nia- we literally take it all in! So you know what that means- the watershed started as I cleaned all her messiness! 😭😭😭🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

Thankful is an understatement! Still a work in progress on this feeding journey, but boy has she come so far and can work a spoon so well!

We still have five bolus feeds a day via the pump- which is work to clean and rinse tubes and feeding bags, but we will celebrate every single milestone!

Blessings!

Be Thankful for the small things!

I will bless the Lord at all times. His praise shall continually be in my mouth. ~Psalm 34:1

Faces of Nia enjoying her Chicken Pot Pie!!!

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