FIVEbulous Open Letter to Our Miracle, Nia – Words from Team A&E

Nia Turns Five! “You’re a galaxy of joy and inspiration to everyone who hears or sees you.” Happy Birthday Sweet Miracle!

“The best miracle I’ve ever witnessed” ~ Nia’s Daddy 

Today you turn 5, I am blessed with grace to call you my daughter on this day September 27th. The grace and mercy allowed us to have you on this amazing day. As each year comes to this day, I can reflect upon it as the best miracle I’ve ever witnessed. N.A.S. you took the operating room like a swift mesmerizing breeze and no words but yours filled the air so eloquently. Can’t say I deserve to be your father but I’m taking up the mantle to serve as your hometown hero. As times get rough, I’ll be around to protect and guide you the best I can or I’ll try harder. You’re a galaxy of joy and inspiration to everyone who hears or sees you. You will always be a living testimony to God’s everlasting love for mankind. I may not always be the nicest or most pleasant but I will honor my position in your life. Thank you for being my perfect daughter, the best angel I could have ever asked God for today and tomorrow.

Love Always,

your Dad [Antoine]

Father’s Day 2020 – Virginia Beach, VA


Nia Alexandria, where do I start! WOW! FIVE “5” amazing years with you on this earth! I am filled with so much joy and gratitude for your earthly presence. Another year around the sun with you is another 365 days I was never expected to have with you. The magnitude of the grief and peace I felt on that morning, five years ago, preparing for your arrival – still feels like yesterday! I tried my best to prepare myself for the transition of your life – my God! However, At 9:26am on September 27, 2017 – God Said NO! Your cry was sooo angelic and music to my ears! Quite frankly it startled me and the entire operating room as I had no expectation of this sound!

As I sit here writing this open letter, the tears of joy and gratitude are real. There is not a day that goes by that I take you for granted! I know you are a miracle and to be a witness to the magic really is indescribable. I know many parents say they are lucky and blessed to have their babies – but I feel like I hit the jackpot with you! Your spirit and energy light up any space you walk into. Despite the hardships including lengthy hospital stays, medical support, swallowing my pride, eating lots of humble pie, facing my insecurities in the wake of your diagnosis – there is not an ounce of regret for bringing you into this world with the hopes and aspirations that God would deliver on His promise…Trust Me and I will reward you!

We are the recipients of obedience to His word. Some folks can’t fathom how Faith kept you alive, and yet how close we were to allowing our fear to make the decision to terminate because of your prognosis. None of this journey has been simple, but each year you show me how much of a warrior you are and owning your small but fierce physicalities. You lack nothing and your size is a perfect fit for you! 😘💖

As I walked through Target this morning my emotions overcame me and tears welled in my eyes! 🥹 I remember before you were born dreading walking through the baby aisles in Target, a place I loved and baby rows I always loved passing by. The little tiny clothes, hair bows, and all things baby – and grief would quickly overwhelm me preparing to be a Motherless mom.

Now 5 years later I still have moments of grief thinking of what was taken from me – mentally and emotionally, but also in the same breath I am counting my blessings that I get to take joy and comfort in your miraculous birth. I am privileged to go through the aisles and not feel as sad for what was taken for me – but now focus on what is in front of me. That’s you sweet girl with all of your bliss! My girly girl who loves all the glitz and glam! ✨✨I am grateful!

I love how you love me soooo much! You remind me often “I am the best mommy ever.” When I make mistakes you are quick to tell me “that’s okay mommy.” Your forgiving heart is one of a kind! The grace and compassion you present at the age of five is more than many adults will ever show in a lifetime. You know how to console and support others when they are not at their best. Your desire to outwardly express love to and for others is one of a kind. 

Your dad and I are still in awe of your beauty, ambition, tenacity, and unapologetic nature to be great! The year of Five means a chapter of pushing boundaries, exploring, and being fearless!  The reality is you have been breaking the mold and disrupting the status quo since you were born! Nia you have a way with people that commands a different approach to existing in your world. Your light moved your dad to a desire to outwardly share his unconditional love and commitment to you as his child. We are the imperfect storm that created the perfect you! 

Happy 5th Birthday Doll Baby! #bossbaby

I love you, Mommy [Erica]



Point Please 💖

UnFOURgettable Open Letter to My Sweet Miracle, Nia

Nia today marks 4 years around the sun and yet your birth still feels like only yesteday! The trauma and blessing all in the same 24 hours is still raw as I write today! The grief hit me like a crashing wave at this hour. I am no longer angry, but sometimes the heartache still feel like I just received the grime prognosis of your life expectancy – zero to a few hours at best or even worse – stop your heart before you arrive in this world so you won’t suffer. When I think about all the expert medical opinions I received four years ago, and then to look at you today – part of my soul aches for the thought of me missing all the things you have become today!

I am grateful “Nia’s Journey” set me on a path to be a crusader not only for you/us – but to fight for the health and lives of other moms and babies!

Your life pushed me to be even more of a risk taker! I’ve never been average, but God truly raised the stakes when He gave me you! He knew you would set fire under me to Bet on Myself – because your life would require me to do so! God continues to order my steps and align them with greater purpose ever single day! The best part, it’s always connected back to “Nia’s Journey.”

You are the epitome of Independent! You are ambitous and a girl on a mission, which we [your dad and I] have clearly seen in your love for the beach!

I have watched you grow more in love with not just sand at the beach but the ocean. I remember when you were sooo afraid of the ocean and now nothing can stop you! The beach is our family’s happy place!! This just gives me pure joy! You truly are our little mermaid! We are incredibly grateful to Make-A-Wish for making your Ultimate Tea Party by the Sea come true this year! These memories will last a lifetime.

Nia’s Wish Day! 🥰
Ultimate Tea Party by the Sea!

You totally deserved it especially enduring reconstructive bi-lateral hand surgery that required casts for a whole month! Just like you bounced back in unprecedented time from open heart surgery, you did the same for this surgery – which was not nearly as complex but equally nerve wrecking and requires a bit more day to day assistance.

Few hours after surgery!

You are truly a warrior and whenever doubt creeps in, remember “I Can Do Hard Things!”

This past year has been quite the experience. The pandemic caused us to make more tough decisions – would we send you to school or not? What type of setting – home, public, or private? Ultimately we decided on an independent institution that didn’t make public health and safety political. Your health along with all students is considered of the utmost importance.

Also, because your school’s values – you are loved, accepted, and appreciated for the diversity you bring to the school. I am able to educate your classmates, families, faculty and staff about your differences yet your similarities. That love takes a bit of my worry away!

First Day of Junior Kindergarten (JK)

Some days though I must say I hold my breath waiting for you to come home and say someone has been unkind – yet that hasn’t happened. I know it hasn’t been a full month, but I know you are in a safe and healthy environment conducive to a positive learning experience.

I am excited for your next year around the sun – you will continue to do amazing things!!

Thank you for giving me so much inspiration because of you I am a strategist, advocate, advisory council member, blogger, a best selling author, and most importantly a warrior mom and an absolute believer of Christ! Without Him, there is no you physically on this earth!

Love you! #Dollbaby and my #Bossbaby

Happy 4th Birthday to my Mermaid and Unicorn! 💖💖🧜🏾‍♀️🧜🏾‍♀️🦄

3rd Year Open Letter To Nia – My Fearfully and Wonderfully Made Miracle! 💜💜💜

Nia Turns 3! Wow! 3 years ago we had planned for your birthday and death day to be the same, #ButGod had a different plan – and so grateful He did! Happy 3rd Birthday Doll Baby!

Nia as I lie in bed writing this letter with you by my side – September 27th – the emotions are raw – and all I can think about is Mommy and Daddy had prepped for your memorial service in advance – but God! Hearing you breathe next to me is music to my ears.

Even when you are fussy, irritable, and ever so stubborn my heart is always full! Although I can’t always figure out exactly why you are upset at times- the thought of your fussiness just brings amazing tears to my eyes!

Why? Because as I reflect on how far you’ve come and how you are thriving, the only word that sums your journey up is Wonder! You continue defying the odds – and shattering “the death sentence” put on your life before you were born!!

Every year as September 27, 2017 comes around, I replay your birth story in my mind everso vividly – and I remember the loud cry that filled the operating room on this day at 926am – like a sweet melody – the cry wasn’t expected and at that moment i was too shock to fully cry – but the entire room of professionals cried with and for us as they too understood the magnitude of what had just happened – A real miracle!! Your cry demanded bold attention then and your energy continues to radiate and command presence in other people’s heart everyday!

The Miracle and Testimony! 🙏🏾🙌🏾

Although you were born 2 weeks early – it was God’s perfect timing! Your gift of life has transformed me in ways I never imagined! I am living a Wonder-FULL life, Unapologetically! Your journey has created a platform fo me to advocate for other moms and babies, women’s health, clean beauty and so much more!!

Because of you, my voice is elevated in a way I couldn’t have even imagined in my wildest dreams! Your life gave me the confidence to bet on myself to take a career JUMP in the midst of COVID – and go big in BIG Tech AND start my own CLEAN Beauty business and lead the charge in demanding safer health and beauty products – Wow!!!

Nia the world is so much better because of your life – and I pray that your tenancious spirit continues to allow you to move confidently in this world – and know your size does not determine your destiny!

Honestly I think you know this already even at the age of 3 and this is more for mommy – as I worry about the day you will come home crying to me that someone teased you for your size or tries to make you feel less than because of your height – your sureness reminds me “I Am Perfect!”

I have gotten better at this worry and think a lot less about it and truly just watch you take on the world with determination and drive! You are sooo darn sure of yourself and have faith that you can literally do anything!!! Your will to do hard things are God’s sweet way of showing me – mama I got this!! “I am fearfully and wonderfully made…” You are my real life beautiful doll baby!

This attitude will allow you to overcome anything and I will be right here to cheer you on!!

God knew the joy you would give to mommy – and although I had to dance in the rain and the real pain of prepping for your death three years ago – I am so thankful that God saw fit for me to experience His Wondrous Works in a way I hadn’t yet seen until that day! Literally the sun was shining on me – okay the operating room lights were but let’s pretend 😂🤪 Your life gave me new life and although this journey hasn’t been easy it has been worth it!

To watch you shed tons of medical equipment has been incredible.

You are the bravest earthly angel I know – surviving life in the NICU 118 days, coding twice in one day during those times my God, open heart surgery, numerous hospitals and doctors visits, medical road trips, the poking and prodding. Yet you are soooo darn resilient and force the entire household to serve as your guinea pigs – I mean patients!

I love how your imagination transforms so quickly from a physician, to a chef, to a superstar – aka lil Beyoncé!

I am so thankful that You Shook My World and Honestly Turned it upside down! I am sooo much better for it as a woman, wife, mom, sister, and friend!

Keep serving me some of life’s greatest lessons and being limitless!!! You are are truly my SHEro and Earthly Angel!!

Mommy and Dad Love You Forever and Ever!

ELS (and daddy too – AAS)

A&E 💜💜💜💜

Princess Nia 💜💜💜
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